Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
