The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
