On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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