Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
