if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
