I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
