We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
