Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
