sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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