haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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