he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it glows. i had to have it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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