I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
