I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
