I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
