Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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