He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
