I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
