I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
