gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
