Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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