If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
