Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
