just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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