Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
