i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
