I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize