just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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