So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize