you guys were way drunker than both of me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
