I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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