I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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