I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
