Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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