Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
