I wish I could teleport
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
