season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
