hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
