Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
