What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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