what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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