His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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