dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize