You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
