Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
