I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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