Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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