At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
