32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
