I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
