Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
