Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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