my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
