Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
