my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
