dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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