So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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