My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
