Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
