Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
