I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
