yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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