I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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